Dear Mom – a letter from the womb

The post is dedicated to a Christian friend of mine who is carrying an unplanned child out-of-wedlock.  She is on the verge of making an irreversible, devastating, life-changing “choice.”  If her unborn child was given a glimpse of life outside the womb and had the vocabulary to articulate thoughts, this is what her baby may write… a desperate plea to stay alive. 

Dear Mom,

I know we haven’t officially met yet but I thought I would say hi from inside your womb.  I am not sure how I arrived, I just know that I am glad I am here.   Though the place I am in is very dark, it is also very warm and comforting.  There is not much to do here but I am constantly entertained by the sound of your voice.  Oh, how I love the sound of your voice!  Every time you talk, I feel safe.  Every time you speak, I feel loved.  I don’t understand everything you are saying yet – but I can’t wait to comprehend it.  The best is your laugh.  You don’t do it often and I have no idea what causes it but when it happens, it feels amazing. 

From all the muffled commotion I hear, I have a feeling that life is pretty stressful outside this womb.   Listening to the tone of your conversations, I can tell you are scared.  Your voice sounds tired.  On the outside, everyone might think that you are doing ok but on the inside you are a wreck.  I know.  I live on the inside.  I can feel the tension.  Something tells me that I am the cause of it.  

I keep hearing words like “abortion”, “choice”, and “procedure.”  Every time one of those words is said, a cold chilling wind hits my spine.  Yes, I have a spine.  And a heartbeat.  And ears.   I may not be able to see much right now, but I can hear it all.  From the sound of it, my days are numbered – I just don’t know why.  I didn’t ask to be here, your actions brought me.  Why don’t you want me now?   What did I do to deserve your rejection?

  • When you say the word “abortion”, I hear “death.”
  • When you say “choice”, I ask “Whose?”   My choice does not seem to matter right now.  Is it because my voice cannot be heard yet?
  • When you say “procedure”, I hear “pain.”  One of us will have anesthesia during this procedure and one of us won’t.  For you, this is a very simple out-patient surgery.  For me, it is an execution.  My only crime?   I exist.

Why don’t you want me?   Is it because of your reputation?   How does killing me help that?  Doesn’t that just make it worse?   Granted, sleeping with Dad may not have been your wisest decision but ending my life only complicates matters.  Your friends and family may never know about me.  But you know about me.  Dad knows about me.  Obviously, God knows about me.  He sent me here.  Just understand this: Ending my life does not end your memory of me. 

Is this a financial decision?  Am I not going to see my first birthday because you want to save money?  Does my little mouth make it one too many for you to feed?  Rumor has it that a lot of people pay big money for someone like me.  Why not give me to one of those families?  I know someone out there wants me.  Why can’t I be with them?

Maybe this is about lifestyle?  Is my presence going to keep you from having fun?   Am I going to “cramp your style?”  Would you prefer dating over diapers right now?  Did my grandparents have this same discussion when you were in the womb?   They obviously did not choose lifestyle over life.  Why can’t I have that same freedom?

Does this have to do with my Dad?   Do you not like him now?   Was he abusive to you?   Is my existence a constant reminder of someone you want to forget?  I’m sorry for that, I really am.  But right now, for the next nine months, I don’t need a Dad.  I need you.  

Maybe you don’t think I am really a person yet?  By week six, my ears began to form and my heart began to beat.  A beating heart is a sign of life, ask any Doctor!  By week eight, my lungs were formed and my hands and feet appeared.  By week eleven, my beautiful face was fully formed and you can tell my gender.  What more proof do you need?  I’m a person just like you – I just don’t have my voice yet.

I don’t know why you are considering removing me from the family portrait.  But my time is running out and the cards seem stacked against me.  The current legal system might allow you to “get away with murder.”  The government might even support it.  Unbelievably, your friends or our family might be encouraging it.  You might be able to afford it and even find some Doctor greedy enough to do it but make no mistake, your conscience will never forget it.  I might not make it out of here alive but one thing I do know, you will never forget me or the experience of losing me.

All I am asking for is the very opportunity you had – life.   If you can’t hear my cries for help, then let my constitutional rights speak for me.  Weren’t they established for people like me?   “We, the people of the United States, in order to form a more perfect Union, establish justice, insure domestic tranquility, provide for the common defense, promote the general welfare and secure the Blessings of Liberty to ourselves and our posterity, do ordain and establish this Constitution for the United States of America.”   I want justice, domestic tranquility and to be defended!

I have to go – there is more work to be done before my arrival.  If this is last time you hear my voice, I just want you to know I forgive you.  The challenge will be to forgive yourself. 

I hope to see you soon.  I want to laugh together, outside of this womb.  

Love, your unborn child.

*********************

“For You created my inmost being; You knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise You because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; Your works are wonderful, I know that full well.  My frame was not hidden from You when I was made in the secret place, when I was woven together in the depths of the earth.  Your eyes saw my unformed body; all the days ordained for me were written in Your book before one of them came to be.” – Psalm 139:13-16

DISCLAIMER: This post is not trying to intentionally or formally declare where I stand concerning the pro-life/pro-choice debate.  Nor is it my desire to bring up a controversial and divisive subject for the sake of controversy.  Regardless of my particular belief, the baby is always pro-life and this “letter”was written from the baby’s perspective.  Also, I am painfully aware that there may be women reading this who have already chosen to abort a baby in their past.  This is not written in subtle judgment of that decision.  Any guilt they still feel is a direct result of their decision and not because of this particular post.  We all must learn to deal with the poor decisions we have made and the consequences we face and move forward, trying our best to learn what we can from those painful experiences.  Some readers may find the following blog helpful in regards to the regrets they have experienced in the past.

Update: Wednesday, September 5th, 2012.   My friend texted me today and told me she had the abortion.  I am very sad on a number of levels.  Sad that Satan got another victory.  Sad that a “choice” trumped a life.  Sad that some doctor made money for his disservice to our land.  Sad that some loving couple can’t experience the joy of an adoption.  Sad for my friend’s children who won’t be having a little baby sibling to love on.  Sad that I never to got to meet this little one I have prayed for.  Really sad for my friend.  When I asked how she felt, her only response was, “I just feel dirty.”  

Interestingly, her initial text to me was simply, “It is done.”   I knew instantly what she meant.  I also could not miss the connection between her three words and the last three words of Christ as He hung on the cross.  He cried out, “It is finished” and died. 

  • One death occurred to save a reputation.  The other death occurred to save mankind. 
  • One death was to make life easier.  The other was to make life holy. 
  • One death only brought death.  The other death brought Life, now and later.
  • One death made one man richer.  The other death made all men richer.  
  • One death brings regret.  The other death brings forgiveness, even extended to her – even now.  Especially now.

Continue to pray for my friend.

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About Rod Arters

As a former youth worker, business owner, school teacher, coach and inmate, Rod has the unique ability to relate to almost anyone in whatever situation they are in. His thought-provoking blog about life, mistakes, faith, hope & grace has been read in over 175 countries. A popular writer & speaker, Rod draws from his deep well of biblical knowledge and personal pain to encourage others along the broken journey to wholeness. He hosts an invitation-only private Facebook group for men (called Brother's Keeper) and enjoys helping others find Hope in the midst of their painful situations. He currently resides in Charlotte, NC.
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27 Responses to Dear Mom – a letter from the womb

  1. carriewill2 says:

    Beautiful and haunting.

  2. Jayne says:

    This makes my heart ache. I have a handful of friends that have made the decision to end their unborn baby’s life. Now, over 25 years later, these women still deal with their “choice” and the pain of loss, regret and shame. It takes a lifetime toll, not just emotionally, but relationally as well.

  3. Please pray that women experiencing unplanned pregnancies will seriously consider making the life-giving, love-showing plan for adoption. There are so many couples who desire with every ounce of their beings to be mommies and daddies. Adoption planning will cause grief in the birth mother’s life. Aborting will too. I have worked with birth mothers who have chosen adoption and it is the most incredible decision to witness. Their love for their babies is intense and yet, they choose a better life for them than they feel they can give. They choose LIFE. As an adoptive parent, I also know how richly blessed my life is because of my precious children. The Lord designed them for great works! Thank you for posting this. It is bold and powerful.

  4. Maurice says:

    I am man but I understand how difficult it could be in some situations for those women out there. What about those women raped in Africa through civil wars? What about those women for who carrying a baby could endanger their lives? I think the choice for abortion becomes totally subjectivist according to circumstances. And we must not forget the potential a life brought to the world could bring. Even though I have my opinion, I ll rather go for the dictum: ‘ Do not Judge’.
    (and it is not cowardice)

  5. polwygle says:

    This is beautiful. I pray for your friend and for other women who are making the choice to end an innocent life.

  6. Sara says:

    This is beautiful. Hope she’s ok (your friend). I pray for her.

  7. Christina says:

    I woke up thinking about your friend this morning. My heart just breaks for her and for the wonderful individual the rest of us have been deprived of knowing. Praying for healing for your friend.

  8. R Smith says:

    As a mother of 4, I could not imagine life without my children, they have been such a blessing to me, even though they make very poor decisions sometimes and I have one that just does not want to live right. I can’t even imagine there ever being a question as to whether or not to keep a baby. I am a grandmother of 4 precious grandchildren that are just the most beautiful little beings I have ever met. Reading this just broke my heart. My oldest granddaughter must have had these same thoughts as this unborn baby when she was in the womb, her mom did make poor choices in how she was conceived. My daughter was going to abort this child, but the dad wanted to keep her even though he was in jail. My daughter lived an awful life while she was pregnant which included living on the streets behind a Cici’s Pizza in Raleigh while 6 months pregnant and was put in jail during this time. I don’t even dare to guess all the other things this poor child lived thru in the womb. But praise God; he had other plans for my grandchild. My husband and I are raising her ourselves. She is the most beautiful child inside and out and I know God has an amazing plan for her life. My oldest daughter then conceived again. Our daughter was not having anything to do with our family at this time. This special unborn child we never got to know, we never got to meet, we did not even get to know if this baby was a boy or a girl, if they had blue eyes or brown or green, if they would have been tall or short, this little unborn child had to pay the price for my daughters bad decisions. This child never got to be held and kissed and just loved for being who God made them. For my daughter ended this baby’s life by abortion. It breaks my heart to know that this grandchild had to suffer because my daughter like many other young reckless girls and guys think that abortion is a form of birth control. It angers me to my very core, that they have no heart, no conscience for another life. This same daughter had another child now with another man. She is at least raising this one, not well I might add and she did not keep her for the right reasons, she kept her to keep her current man. I have asked God….Why? Why would you continue to give her children when she cares nothing about life, or these babies. I know she is my daughter, but I also know she was raised with love and taught way better than that, I am sure some people would say that the way she behaves is my fault. I have already let satan beat me up with that comment time and time again. You raise your children up to love God and with good morals the best you can. With many many human mistakes. Once they go out into this world all you can do is pray that they remember what you have taught them and pray that they do not get caught up in this world. I have to just keep my eyes on God, and know that He is absolute control and although I might not understand. I do know his ways are far greater than anything I know. The granddaughter I raise; her dad is the same way, he aborted my other gradchild with my daughter as well has gotten two other young women pregnant and he does not take care of any of them. He has three children and ended the life of a fourth one. He does not take responsiblity or care for any of them. I cannot wrap my mind around any of this still to this day. Reading this just makes my heart ache, it was like it was my grandchild speaking these written words. The one I got deprived of meeting, holding & loving. I continue to pray for these young people today including my daughter. We live in such a perverse world that people would just use abortion as a form of birth control, with no thought to human life that God creates. It is one thing to make a mistake, but own up to it if you are truely a christian take responisiblity for your actions and use the test to make a testimony. Its like people today can just pick and choose like they are at a supermarket deciding what to have for dinner. I know we live in this world that thinks it is okay, but who is it okay really for? My grandchild that did not even get to meet that did not get a chance at life? The granddaughter that was kept that I am raising, that I will have to explain to one day why her mom and dad did not want her? My grandchild that she kept and is raising; that she only kept to have as a pawn to keep the guy? Myself and my husband that had no say in any of these choices? The family that truley wants a child to adopt and did not get an opportunity? My daughter or these guys who are the biological fathers; who will stand before God one day and be judged? There are over 50% of children being born out of marriage these days. This world needs God so badly, and the saddest part is most people do not even no they are in need of Savior! The only thing I can do is pray, pray 1 Chronicles 7:14… If my people, which are called by my name, shall humble themselves, and pray, and seek my face, and turn from their wicked ways; then will I hear from heaven, and will forgive their sin, and will heal their land. And Rod I will be praying for your friend as well. I don’t say what I have said to provoke or hurt anyones feelings these are just my feelings, hope that is okay.

  9. fiztrainer says:

    This is such an awesome post … it’s such a heartbreaking situation. It’s so hard to watch a friend go through such a thing and watch them make such a decision. I will pray for your friend. 😀

  10. Dawn Donahue says:

    This really had me in tears. Especially when I read the update. I have been trying to have a baby for 20 years. I have had 5 miscarriages before 8 weeks, 1 miscarriage at 11 weeks, and my son, who was born sleeping on September 5, 2012 at 20 weeks 5 days gestation because my water broke at 20 weeks 1 day. (I would be 29 weeks 3 days pregnant had my body not given out on my son, Ryan Matthew) My heart breaks for your friend that she thought this was her only best option. I will pray that she finds peace and solace in her heart because while she made that decision, I’m sure her heart is broken as well.

  11. Pingback: Rod’s Blog: 2012 Year in review | The Official blog of Rod Arters

  12. Todd says:

    So you don’t want to “state your opinion” Or show what side of the pro choice/ pro life debate and yet you posted this shit?

    Helen Keller could see you’re one of those pro life psychos.

    Enjoy your promotion. Your new job is first officer on the RMS FAILBOAT

    • Rod Arters says:

      Todd,
      Thanks for reading and commenting.

      As I stated in the blog – “Regardless of my particular belief, the baby is always pro-life and this “letter” was written from the baby’s perspective.”

      Glad that your Mom was pro-life as well. Blessings to you.

  13. Delisya says:

    Just makes me cry.. I wish i could stop them all from doing it..

  14. I honestly believe that this is a very gorgeous post you have here!
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  15. Anonymous says:

    Grossly inaccurate. Frankly, I’m pretty disgusted. There is a whole slew of people out there who think they have some right to dictate what others will or will not do.

    Do I think it’s wrong to change your mind late in the game? Yes, I do. But it’s not a matter of my belief system. It’s a matter of someone else’s complete life that I ultimately know nothing about.

    Pro-life? Bear in mind that if you are going to fly that flag, you must then vouch for the safety of fetuses resulting from rape and incent. After all, it’s about the “life of the fetus”, right?

    Take off your judgement glasses. Take a look at your own life, instead of everyone else’s.

    • Rod Arters says:

      Dear Anonymous,
      It is interesting to me that you do not have the courage to post your real name for all to see.

      How can this be “grossly inaccurate” when it is a hypothetical piece written from a defenseless, voiceless soul? Would their voice ever argue in favor of the Mom’s decision to terminate? That would go against nature and one’s own innate sense of self-preservation. The hypothetical piece is completely accurate.

      The last time I checked, women have the right to “choose” and my post does not say they do not. In fact, the post was written because their choice is all that seems to matter for those on the pro-choice side of the aisle. All I ask is that they consider another opinion beside their own before making such a life-changing decision, mainly that of the innocent child.

      How is the fetus “unsafe” in the case of rape or incest? The fetus is the ONLY safe person involved in those rare scenarios. Granted, it’s not an ideal pregnancy but the burden on that birth is on the female victim, not on the innocent child she carries – regardless of why she carries it.

      I did not write the piece with “judgment glasses on.” I wrote them with compassion glasses – compassion for the only truly innocent person who is too often born (or not born) without consideration of their voice.

  16. This is simply awesome. Hope your friend is ok now. Please would you approve if I posted your article on my facebook page along with your name (Rod Arters). Not just this particular one but other articles of yours. Been reading your articles since yesterday and it’s has really impacted me and I feel others should have the opportunity to read it too.

    • Rod Arters says:

      Stephen, sorry for the delay in getting back with you. I do all of my writing now on http://www.rodarters.org and rarely check this account. When you get a minute, join my Facebook writer page. Feel free to share any article you want, all I ask is that you do so from my Rod Arters.org blog address. I appreciate your encouragement. Thank you in advance for sharing my work.

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